I believe in evolution! Yes, I know that as a liberal, in my liberal part of one of the most liberal states of in our nation that may be taboo to say, but by God I believe!
That being said, I think we’ve stopped evolving.
Think about what you know about evolution: survival of the fittest. Mutations that help a species survive and adapt.
Or this!!!
Now think about our world: Jackass was a very popular TV show. People copycat them. Idiots are reproducing. Everyone is allergic to everything.
Good Idea…???
Put that all together and……..crap!
The Jackasses:
Some people in this world are idiots. Drunk idiots. They put themselves in danger and get themselves hurt.
Why is this a problem?
Because we keep saving them!
Lets take this guy out of today and put him with the cavemen. This is the same caveman that would go and distract the woolly mammoth while the rest of the cavemen would stab it with spears. Needless to say, they probably didn’t live very long. Yes, they served an important purpose, but their genetic predisposition to commit idiocy will threaten the future.
Survival of the fittest would dictate that by letting these idiots die, our gene pool would eventually empty of idiots and we’d be left with mostly those with common sense. But we keep keeping them alive! So now they can live long unfulfilling lives, filled with car surfing, jumping off shit, and putting fireworks in their butts.
Thanks YouTube for the easily acquired examples!
The Breeders:
I know what you may be thinking, “Don’t make fun of the idiots. They don’t know any better.” By the way, I’m assuming those kind loving readers are few and far between. Most of you may be thinking, “Idiots should be sterilized.”
But therein lies the problem, “How do we know if we’re idiots? Who should be sterilized?”
How about stupid people who are having WAY too many offspring.
Humans can have litters??
Honestly, I don’t know anything about 19 Kids and Counting which may be good, because that means they haven’t unleashed their football teams worth of family drama on the world. Even so…19 KIDS!!! I hope at the very least, they lose some kids to the harsh winters or dysentery!
Anyhoo, those F-ING Gosselins! Yes, the Gosselins are an easy target, but I think they’re the perfect example. Years ago, Jon and Kate had two children. But they wanted one more. Neither had a college degree or a job that gave them much. Then suddenly they had 8 kids. So they sold their story to Discovery Channel and you know the rest; Jon’s a douchebag and Kate’s a wreck.
Livin’ it up in Reality TV Hell
And who’s gonna pay for it? Their 8 kids. Yup, they will each get 1/8th of their parents attention or most likely less since Jon and Kate are running around trying to afford 8 kids. I don’t think they can afford higher education for eight 18 year-olds roughly around the same time.
Now two idiots have released 8 future idiots on the world. And hey, maybe their kids will each have 8 kids and so on and so forth until “Gosselin” is synonymous with “Locust.”
The Allergic:
I work at a restaurant in an upper middle class/lower upper class area. So needless to say, I hear all about peoples diets and their allergies.
Here’s a list of allergies I’ve dealt with: peanuts, almonds, cashews, any nuts, wheat, soy, chicken, AVOCADOS (me) and onions. On top of that, most of the same people are vegetarian, vegan, pescetarian, Atkins diet, South Beach diet, Paleo diet, and many are suffering from celiac (but not really).
This is getting ridiculous!
As far as food preference people, you’re just being difficult. A lot of times the ingredients are listed in the description, read the menu before you ask questions. If you can’t eat it, move on; whether it be to the next item or another restaurant.
Those with allergies…I’m sorry to tell you this, Mother Nature doesn’t want you alive! You have been given the inability to consume a particular item and remain alive. Evolution would dictate that you eat the cursed food, die, and keep your weak-ass genes out of the pool. I’m no exception, I’m allergic to walnuts and possibly avocados. But unlike others, my allergy merely makes me uncomfortable, not dead.
You hear that? It’s Death and he wants to be in your mouth.
Conclusion:
I know this all may sound cruel, it may sound mean, and I may sound unscientific, but that’s only because it IS!
Evolution isn’t kind, or nice, or even picky! It doesn’t judge, like, or dislike—it kills!
Sorry, unicorn. You live in the forest and you’re bright and shiny! GTFO!!!
Panda, you’re lazy and need instruction on how to have sex, you’re Next!
Nature kills what isn’t necessary, but we are saving and breeding more unnecessary people than what nature would kill. Thus evolution stops.
So screw it! The human race is doomed to become hypochondriac idiots anyways, so go out into the world, have fun, and die!
BaconKitty 