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Valentine’s Week

11 Feb

Hello, dear readers!

In case you don’t go to stores or watch television with commercials (hey, it’s possible with Netflix streaming and Amazon), you’ll be glad to know it’s Valentine’s week here in ‘Murica.  Our posts this week will focus on love and romance and sex and single-life and loneliness and frozen single-serving dinners…

So if you see a single person this week, give them a hug.  Or maybe don’t.  Just don’t look directly at them and everything should be ok.

Enjoy!

Check out these printable Arrested Development Valentines!

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

31 Jan

Since I’ve started online dating (more on that in the future), the weirdest message I’d gotten so far was from a fellow whose main profile pic was a glamour shot of his abs that said “I’m back, baby.  And badder than ever.”  That would’ve been clever and flirty, had we ever exchanged so much as a mutual profile peek.

The other night I received a message from a gent in Illinois that read:

It reads: Hi, I’m really sorry to bother you, and I know this is a strange question, but do you have any experience with women’s pro wrestling? I’m a promoter and have been promoting for a long time now and have been looking for the “perfect face,” and I think you have it! 🙂 Not only are you athletic-looking, but you certainly look like you could carry on an intelligent conversation as well!! Get back with me–like I said, it’s a strange question, yes, but it’s totally legitimate 🙂 Thanks 🙂

My first thought?  Spam.  This guy must also send messages as a Nigerian prince who needs your help getting his money out of his country, just your bank account info will help him out!  But who would make this up?

Then I began to think about it.  If this guy is for real, what am I to take from this?

In sharing this message with my good buddy Marcus, who understands the nuance of online dating, I told him I hadn’t responded because I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or craziness.

Marcus:  He’s saying you look like a wrestler….maybe Stacy Kiebler?!

me:  or chynna

 Marcus:  Ooh yeah
You’re Chynna
me:  but is that good?
I dunno, folks.  I think it’s safe to say he wasn’t comparing me to a tall drink of water that competed on Dancing with the Stars and that George Clooney is dating.  But being compared to a rather burly female wrestler, who in recent times has been more famous for celebrity rehab and raunchy sex tapes?  I hope he was more going for a HOT MMA fighter like Gina Carano.  Maybe there are other hotties of the professional wrestling world that happen to look like me (short, Jewish, a few extra pounds, curly hair)?
I think the real compliment here is that I am “athletic-looking” (thanks to Jodi for making a face as soon as I told you that)… First time EVER those words have been said in association with my jelly.  And no, I do NOT think the world is ready for this jelly.  Although my glasses do make me seem as though I can carry on an intelligent conversation… I’ll give him that.

Hump Day Double-Post!

9 Jan

Today is Hump Day (known by many as simply “Wednesday”).  Today your beloved writers talk about their fondness (::cough cough:: addiction) to caffeine…

C’mon, you know you want a taste…

Um… hello?

3 Dec

Behold, I am Bacon Kitty!  Bow beneath me as my human minions humor you!

 

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